“It’s hard to set limits when you love someone, it’s even harder if you still think of them as your little boy or little girl.” – Michael Speakman
Parents who have adult children who have addictions find it hard to reconcile where they went wrong in their parenting. There is that guilt that they may have something to do why their adult child turned to addiction.
Gail has been very passionate about this topic because she had to go through grief and guilt over an adult child with addiction for years. In this episode of I Love Me Lab Podcast, Gail had a very enlightening conversation with Mike Speakman, a Life Coach and Licensed Substance Abuse Counselor. He is also the founder of the support group called Parents of Addicted Loved-ones or PAL. The discussion in this interview focused more on how parents should manage themselves when they have an adult child in addiction. More often than not, their kind of helping is not really helping the child.
Highlights of the episode …
- Introduction of Guest, Mike Speakman
- What is addiction in the opinion and experience of Mike
- When an adult child is in addiction, what kind of grief does parents experience?
- What are the 5 things parents need to bear in mind when an adult child is in addiction?
- How can parents manage themselves so that they, in turn, can help their adult child in addiction?
- Magic Moment No. 1: Committing to recognizing the truth and announcing your discovery to a loved one.
- Boundaries and Consequences
- Magic Moment No. 2: Committing to getting new learning and letting your loved one know you’re doing so.
- The challenges of parenting in our culture in today’s world.
- Magic Moment No. 3 – Apologizing for not treating your adult child as an adult.
- How to refuse to take responsibility for your adult child’s actions and inactions?
- Magic Moment No.4 – Committing to changing how you help.
- Magic Moment No. 5 – Committing to cutting financial strings.
- Magic Moment No. 6 – Experiencing a new level of peace.
Resources:
Where to get the book by Mike Speakman, “The Four Seasons of Recovery for Parents of Alcoholics and Addicts” in which the proceeds will go to the support group, Parents of Addicted Loved-ones (PAL) – https://palgroup.org/
